Developing A Healthy Personality

Personality development is a continuous process There are many important events in the life of individual which influence the personality development.

        * Toilet training 

        *Socialization 

        *Identification 

        *Sex role identity

    

1)TOILET TRAINING :

   * Bladder and bowel control is important for a child's personality.
 * Toilet training should start early at home. The care taker should teach the child gently and at the right time. 

    * First, the child learns bladder control, then bowel control. 

   * Parents and other family members should care for the baby. 

    *A new born baby wets the bed and the care taker changes it. The care taker trains the child to excrete in the right place and at the right time.
 * In some societies, parents are very strict and punish children if they do not listen or obey. 

   * They may even hate children wetting the bed. Such children develop fear and insecurity. 

   * On the other hand, parents who care for their infants and train them patiently help them grow with a healthy personality.

   *  Children who grow up in a warm and friendly environment develop a healthy personality.
     

2) Socialization Process :

  *A child learns social behavior slowly with the help of family members.

 * The mother spends the most time with the child and teaches basic words and communication.
* She introduces the child to other people.
The child starts smiling, talking, and mixing with others.
* In early childhood, the child plays alone. Later, the child learns to play with others.
* Play helps in learning social skills.
* Through socialization, the child learns:
           *Cooperation
           *Competition
           *Helping behavior
           *Good relationships with others help in developing a healthy personality.
Sometimes, children may also learn to stay alone.

  3) Identification:

  * Identification means copying or following others’ behavior.
   * It is not just imitation, but also accepting and adopting their values.
   * A child may try to become like someone important:
  Example: a boy wants to be like his father (walk, talk, job).
*A child may also admire a teacher and want to become like them.
*So, identification means taking in  good values from others.
*But sometimes, children may also copy bad people and choose the wrong path.

4) Sex Role Identity:

      * Parents and society teach different roles, clothes, toys and behaviors for boys and girls. People expect boys to be strong and girls to be good looking. These expectations are social norms.

  *As we grow up, we learn gender roles. Some jobs are seen as only for men and others only for women. Some people do not follow these norms. Girls who behave like boys are called Tom-boys, and boys who behave like girls are called Sissys.

* Socialization creates sex role identity, but roles can change with situations. In some families, fathers may do work usually done by mothers and vice versa. Adjusting well to these roles helps develop a healthy personality.

*Important others like parents, teachers and friends shape our self. Their comments, praise and criticism affect our self-concept. Positive feedback builds positive self; negative feedback leads to negative self.

* Carl Rogers said anxiety comes when there is a gap between our self-concept and our real experiences. Smaller gaps bring happiness and a healthy personality.

* Happiness and unhappiness are relative. More pleasant experiences bring happiness; more unpleasant ones bring unhappiness.

* Factors that influence happiness include health, physical attractiveness, autonomy, competence, balance between expectations and achievements, emotional adjustment and realistic self-concept.

*Low self esteem is negative. High self esteem is good.

* Self-actualization-realizing one's full potential-is essential for a healthy personality and is a basic human need.